i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
