I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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