god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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