I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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