My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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