Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
