i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
