ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
