The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
