Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
