My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
