Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize