I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
