No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
