No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
