pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
