We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
