That's intense
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
