Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
