O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
