She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
