Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
