where am i from again
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
