your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
