dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
