Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just gargled with NyQuil
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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