This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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