i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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