I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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