dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
