I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize