my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize