I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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