Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
