you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
