Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
