Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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