so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
