Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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