i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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