There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
