You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
