so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
