yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
