every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Your cock deserves a montage
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
