I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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