i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just high enough for therapy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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