She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
