imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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