I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
