Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize