I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
