just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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