google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
