Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
