He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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