I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize