On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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