You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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